Fall classes have started, and honestly, I’m not sure whether I like them or not. The professors are good and I like the way they’re structured, but right now they are so easy it’s almost unbearable. My circadian rhythm is messed up to say the least, and I might feel like sleeping at any time in a four hour range or so. I feel bored unless I’m constantly doing something, usually around other people. My mind is constantly racing, thinking about or analyzing every little detail. I go from happy and perfectly content one minute, to wanting to scream the next, because I’m so fed up, whether it be with the way my life seems to be turning out, people annoying me, or failing to meet expectations from myself or others. Boredom gives me time to think and analyze, and sometimes that’s the last thing I should do. Perhaps I’m just tired, although I’ve barely been awake 12 hours. I’ve been getting what seems like massive amounts of REM sleep, with what I recall as being reoccuring dreams. I’ve also been at my most energetic during early afternoon, so I think maybe that’s what’s causing me to feel weird and on edge.
Anyhow, I’m not quite sure what to keep updating this with other than whining. Perhaps more lists…or pictures. Not that I take a lot, but hey, why not start?
It seems like it has been ages since I last posted on here. My grandmother died a week after my mom and I returned home from visiting her. My mom and dad went back down to NC the Friday after we got back (We got home Sunday, I believe.), and my grandmother died the following Sunday, and the funeral was Tuesday morning. Six people in the cramped apartment of a recently deceased family member, starting to sort through endless piles of random shit…not to mention hundreds of bears. Teddy bears, beanie babies, you name it, it was in this apartment. My aunt has been charged with the task of doing most of the cleaning out of the apartment. In other news, I went to a Phillies game on Friday, and they lost miserably. Of course, that was the only game of this series they have lost so far, I believe. I’m tired, and I’m going to bed.
In two weeks, my summer classes will be over, thank god. That Friday, weather permitting, I will be going to Green Dragon and maybe buying more incense. Lesson learned though, only buy what you can burn in a reasonable amount of time. Then in July the concert and fireworks at Long’s Park. It’s a damn shame it seems I might not be able to attend any more this summer. Then likely going to visit family in western North Carolina for five or so days, and hopefully stopping somewhere and doing something on the way home. Not sure what to do though. We’ve already done Luray Caverns and the Blue Ridge Parkway. In other news, I had a music test and a speech today. I felt a bit better about this test than the last one. Spoke about Ernest Hemingway, and immediately afterward felt like I did a piss-poor job. This coming from someone who takes pride in their writing, grammar, and vocabulary. Maybe it’s just bad luck to talk about something you know about and enjoy so much? Looking back, I think I would have disappointed myself even if I had done a fantastic job, because in my mind no speech I could reasonably pull off would have done the topic justice. Well, the incense I had burning is burnt out, and I think I’ve said what I wanted to. So until next time, peace.
P.S. Aren’t Obama’s fly-swatting reflexes awesome?? Not exactly serious news material though. Really, CNN, you should probably consider sticking to more newsworthy issues.
I have neglected this for much too long. Here goes.
Summer is here, at least figuratively. The spring semester is done, and my grades, quite frankly, sucked. I think next semester will turn out better, for a variety of reasons, none of which I care to write about at the moment. Now that my summer break has arrived, I have finished Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and am 100+ pages into Kurt Vonnegut’s Jailbird. It’s certainly an easier read, though no less entertaining. An easier read is precisely what I needed after finishing ZAMM. So, I suppose I should give my thoughts on the book. Personally, I thought it was an okay book, with some really good parts. That’s it. I feel too much of the book was spent on discussing Quality as well as Phaedrus, long after they brought any meaning to the book. I would have liked there to have been more on the past relationship of Chris and his father, and I feel as though more background on Chris’ problems would have done readers a great favor. Apart from these flaws, the book was an interesting perspective on modern culture and had plenty of advice on how to make the best of our lives in this time. The book, although written in the seventies, is still as relevant as ever and that is part of it’s popularity- it could easily enjoy a similar level of relevancy one hundred years from now.
As far as summer is going, I have so far spent most of my time here at home. I have slipped into a habit of reading a significant amount on a daily basis, and have discovered (rediscovered?) a love for backgammon. Now I need to figure out why the clock on here is an hour off. That is all.
I know it sounds ridiculously cliche, but I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I may be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Apparently I don’t need this algebra class that I have been stressing over for two semesters now. I just wish someone would have told me this a semester and a half ago. Such is life. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is turning out to be an amazing read so far, and seems to be developing ideas that I may be able to incorporate into and explore in my life. I feel like I’ve found my niche of sorts. Anyhow, yesterday USA Today had an eye-opening article on the shootings at Columbine, and what we now know happened 10 years after the media and blame circus has started to die down. Why must everything be about agendas and ratings? I just want the truth.
Alright, on to a brighter topic. My 5 favorite albums at the moment:
5. At War With the Mystics- The Flaming Lips
4. Legend- Bob Marley
3.Sargeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band- The Beatles
I am no longer reading Point Counter Point, at least for the moment, and am reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenence. So far,it seems as if it will be more to my liking, although I am only on page twelve. Point Counter Point just seemed to have a nearly whiny, overly detailed, yet detatched quality to it.
In other news, I feel as though my life is strangling me. I am faring worse than even I expected in my classes. I feel as though I am missing out on experiences that others around me have been having. Worst of all, I feel as though I am slowly getting a clearer picture of what I want out of my life- and it seems as though many of these things are things which I simply cannot attain. Maybe what I need is just getting lost in a good book. Or perhaps finding myself in one.
Like most good things in life, an idea worth writing or reading about only occurs every so often. Forcing such a thing is a bad idea at best, so it is best to just wait until you have something, perhaps several things, that you simply cannot contain any longer and must get on paper. It occurred to me that something people should do more often is make lists of things they like or don’t like. So here goes- I’ll start with dislikes and pet peeves first and end on a more positive note.
Dislikes/ Pet Peeves:
stupid people
racist/ bigoted people (religion doesn’t get you off the hook as far as I’m concerned. neither does the way you were raised. discrimination is discrimination is discrimination.)
technology, when it’s broken (cars, computers, cell phones etc. I don’t care about how it broke or how to fix it, somebody just fix the damn thing for me already!)
busywork (if it doesn’t have a point and it’s annoying, why do it?)
too much stress (this one can be a killer. no, really.)
getting up early
most rap music
people who can’t just chill
math
science
sauerkraut
unexpected events that interfere with plans
cold, gray days
pushy people
overly nice people
people who assume too many things
nosy people
bitter, angry, and/ or misanthropic people (really, I can only deal with one- me.)
people who distort the truth
people who can’t accept the truth
most white lies
excessively avoidant people. (people need to be told they suck sometimes. the wording just makes it confusing- chances are they’re stupid too.)
little kids
grumpy old people
overly idealistic people
closed-minded people
fake people
limitations
Likes:
chill people
good books
good movies
good food
open minded people
people who can hold an intelligent conversation
ecumenical people
Donald Kaul
Garrison Keillor
most of Andy Rooney’s editorials (just not his voice, for God’s sake. or him, really, for that matter.)
So I read the editorial section of the paper today, and Donald Kaul’s article interested me, more so than usual. Read it, regardless of your religious views, or the lack thereof, unless you happen to be a fundamentalist; there’s a good chance the point would be lost on you anyhow. This seems to reaffirm my faith in humanity (which, somedays, is all but nonexistent). Too often we are caught up in divisiveness, but I think we as people may slowly be realizing and trying to overcome this. At least that is my hope anyway.
Today I received quite a surprise when another student informed me that our Intro to Software class was cancelled. I have a love-hate relationship with computers. I often find them uncooperative and aggravating, yet I don’t think I could manage well without them and I do enjoy learning about them in certain aspects. But I find this class very boring and annoying at the moment. Also, this snowing to the point where my car slides on the road yet not enough for a delay or cancellation needs to stop before I crash into something. Otherwise, watch this.
Today did not go remotely as planned, although not necessarily for better or worse. I just watched a Mark Twain Award ceremony remembering George Carlin. I got up much earlier than necessary, not fully realizing that my mom had half a conversation with me informing me that HACC was on a delayed schedule. It was a nice change of pace getting up at a moderately early hour, yet not being hurried in any way. Oddly it seemed to energize me rather than make me feel tired. A while after classes, I hung out with a friend and partook in the usual rituals. I had dinner twice essentially, once there and again when I got home. Also, I believe my obsession with incense may be experiencing a revival of sorts. On to something that has been bothering me for some time: what is the deal with the text spacing and alignment? Anytime I want to make a new paragraph, everything goes haywire and takes forever to sort out and edit properly.
Now I’m just chilling out and listening to Sufjan Stevens. I haven’t listened to this album in a while, and I have no clue why. Buy ‘Michigan’- if you like indie/ folk, you won’t regret it, Trust me. For a good book, try Hemingway’s Green Hills of Africa, or In Cold Blood by Truman Capote.
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